How fear almost stopped me from one of my greatest travel experiences đ¨
My life would have never been the same
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In the summer of 2014, I received a life-changing email.
âYouâve been accepted into the North American Culture and Language Assistant Program.â
Also known as the Auxiliares de ConversaciĂłn (Conversation Assistant) program, this is an amazing program from the Spanish government granting visas to foreigners to work in public school classrooms helping students practice English.
They give you a 9-month visa and pay a decent stipend.
They offered me a position in Murcia and I quickly accepted.
Having never stood in front of a class before, I was excited yet terrified.
I felt completely unprepared, so my friend Eleni introduced me to an ESL teacher training program in San Francisco.
Everything was going smoothlyâŚuntil the week of practice teaching.
After a few weeks of learning teaching concepts, each teacher-trainee eventually needed to prepare lessons in front of actual ESL students.
My first-ever lesson was only supposed to be 10-minutes long but it felt like an eternity to prepare.
Practices would start the next day after lunch.
I vividly recall leaving the school during the break to get some Chinese food. As I stared at a bowl of fried rice, my heart was pounding. I could barely fork the rice into my jittery mouth.
I didnât think I could stand in front of strangers to teach them a verb tense.
Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.
After lunch, Iâd be walking into the firing squad.
A slow death in front of a group of international students was my destiny.
My brain went into survival mode.
I needed an escape.
And fast.
My mind starting racing.
Just donât go back. You have some money saved. Ditch the Spain idea and take a trip somewhere else.
I was so horrified of speaking in public that I listened to what my mind was yelling.
It was settled. I wasnât continuing the program. I was wasnât going to teach in Murcia, Spain. It wasnât for me.
My conscious wouldnât let me ghost the school, so I decided to do the correct thing and let the director know I was quitting.
Walking in horror back to school and into the directorâs office, I said something like, âIâm leaving the program.â
She read right through me.
âYouâre scared, right?â
Like she was my British therapist, I unloaded everything, âYes, Iâm very scared. I canât do it. This isnât for me.â
âJust walk in there, and do it. It wonât be that bad. If you donât like it, you can quit after.â
Her words poured over me like glass of cold water.
Maybe my eyes were swollen from tears or maybe not, but I stood up, turned around, walked into the classroom.
For 10-minutes, I did my best teacher impression I could have ever performed.
In the end, nothing got set on fire. No one laughed at me. No one called me an idiot. It wasnât a nightmare.
I actually liked it.
Holy Cow.
I wonât say I was good at teaching, but I was better than I thought.
In the end, I graduated from the program, and eventually spent three years teaching ESL in Murcia, Spain.
I got to make great friends like Lieven &
.This nearly didnât happen because my thoughts almost knocked out my dreams.
Why am I talking so much about me today? Because we all have dreams, but fear and the desire to stay comfortable try to stop us at all costs from making them a reality.
If you have a dream but feel internal roadblocks, just remember what Cerie, the school director, told me:
Just walk in there and do it. It wonât be that bad.
Hey friend! Thank you for reading and the support. If you found this interesting in any way, please like or share it! đ
Another Itchy Feet is coming soon.
In the meantime, have a wonderful rest of your week.
Cheers,
Daniel
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