🌍 Traveler Spotlight #6: Yesica Castrillón Part 2
My wife and I talk about our multicultural marriage, surviving long-distance, and our system to keep a healthy relationship
Hey friend!
You’re reading Itchy Feet, a Travel-Inspired Newsletter and I’m grateful you’re here.
Like last week’s post, this one’s got some extra pizzazz. 🎊
This is Part 2 of my interview with my wife, Yesi. If you missed Part 1, you can check it out here (link).
Our chat is the latest edition of Traveler Spotlights, a series of fun interviews with other travelers to learn from them and share with you!
Yesi is from Colombia and I’m from the US. We’ve been married since August, 2024.
Our story involves a lot of traveling and long-distance.
Yesi and I were able to overcome these hurdles to eventually tie the knot, even though time apart is still part of our relationship since our families live in separate countries.
Hopefully this conversation motivates anyone who’s in a long-distance relationship, or who’s trying to navigate a relationship with a partner from a different culture.
Ok, let’s get to it! ✈️
Reading time: 9 minutes
How did we meet each other?
Yesi: During the pandemic, I wanted to focus on improving my English, so I opened an account on Conversation Exchange.
I messaged you, asking if you were willing to practice.
I realized that you had a good level of Spanish. You accepted my invite and we started practicing together.
We ended up becoming friends, and later on, we developed feelings for each other.
Six months later, you decided to travel to Colombia to meet me in person. That’s when we became a couple.
We got engaged two and a half years later. Now we’ve been married for almost seven months.
A lot of our relationship has been long-distance. Can you describe a little more about it?
Yesi: Danny and I had a long-distance relationship for two and a half years.
When you decide to have a long-distance relationship, it’s a big commitment. You need to trust the other person 100%. In my opinion, to succeed you need:
trust
good communication
love
If you trust your partner, you are going to be able to enjoy being by yourself without being stressed over what the other person is doing or becoming paranoid.
This can ruin your relationship.
When you trust the other person, you can support when your partner is spending some time with family and friends. You can even celebrate when you are not in the same place.
Also, I think that when you love your partner, this can help you to forgive and help you to wait. Waiting isn’t easy. When you have a long-distance relationship, you need to do a lot of waiting.
You need to be patient because sometimes the video calls don't work.
Sometimes the time zone difference doesn't help that much.
You need to make agreements.
You need to be open to expressing your feelings. When you think the other person is going to guess what you're feeling, it doesn't work.
You need to be direct and tell your partner how you are feeling if something’s wrong.
Also, speaking up about the things that you love is very important.
We learned there are five different love languages and we’ve been trying to speak them since the beginning of our relationship.
We include God in our relationship.
I think that having the opportunity to develop our relationship with God as a couple has helped us to be united, to be loved, and also to be able to forgive our partner whenever we hurt.
How were we able to keep our connection despite the distance?
Yesi: We created a system called the “Question of the Day.” It was an idea to practice both languages, English and Spanish.
We asked each other a question every day to allow us to know more about ourselves, our personal lives, and our experiences.
This helped us understand each other.
We used to have Zoom calls and regular WhatsApp calls. We also connected our families, so I was able to talk to Daniel's parents.
He was able to talk to my family. While Danny doesn't have much family, mine is huge. He started developing his own relationship with them which helped a lot.
Here are other ways we kept our connection:
Celebrated special moments like our birthdays online.
Celebrated each new month in our relationship.
Focused on quality time.
Helped each other make decisions, both personal ones and ones that involved us.
Made sure our decisions didn’t affect our relationship.
Checked in about our feelings and spoke openly about any problems.
Avoided getting other people involved if there were issues.
Having a long-distance relationship is not for everybody.
It’s a wonderful experience if you love somebody and really want to have an adventure trying to know your partner and stay connected.
How can you tell if a relationship is worth the long distance?
Yesi: It’s worth it when you know that you can respect each other and trust that person 100%.
In long distance, there needs to be more proof that there is love and commitment.
In my case, even though we had a long-distance relationship, Daniel came to Colombia eight times before we got married.
So he really showed me the effort that he was making to be with me.
You need to make sure you know your partner because sometimes they can show you just one piece of them. It's helps being able to communicate with their families.
Also, I think that it’s worth keeping a long-distance relationship when you know the weaknesses and the strengths of your partner.
You need to love the person enough to stand their weaknesses.
What is the hardest and the most rewarding part of long distance?
Yesi: I think that the hardest part is being physically distant.
You have to use your imagination for everything, such as what it’s like to hug to kiss, or their aroma.
It’s also rewarding knowing that somebody far away from you is willing to give you the most precious thing that you can give, and that’s some quality time with you.
It’s rewarding when you know someone is willing to love and respect you, and to do their best to feel connected with you.
Being loved is a gift.
What’s it been like to change from a relationship to married?
Yesi: I never imagined that what started as a long-distance relationship would end up with me getting married to an American boy. It’s been a wonderful multicultural experience.
I knew a little bit about his country from living in the United States.
He also had been exposed to the Latin culture, so I think that we both knew how to be ready for each other.
It’s been a learning process every day.
We celebrate some things the American and the Colombian way.
For instance, we celebrate Thanksgiving (US), Valentine’s Day (US), Love and Friendship Day (Colombia), Women’s Day (Colombia), Teacher’s Day (Colombia), and combine our versions of Christmas.
I know I'm Colombian, but part of my heart feels American because my husband is American.
I'm sure he feels the same way. I think that being aware we don't come from the same backgrounds, but willing to walk together and respect each other goes a long way.
Have we experienced any misunderstandings?
Yesi: Yeah, that happens sometimes. Things that mean something in my culture don’t mean the same in your culture.
Sometimes we have disagreements because of that.
We end up laughing about it, because, it can happen even when we are speaking English and Spanish.
Sometimes I say something in Spanish, and you understand a completely different thing. I'm giving you some instructions, and you do something different.
And I’m like, “But that was not what I told you!”
It's about being merciful to each other.
If there’s a misunderstanding, we need to be able to talk about it and move on.
There is like 90% possibility that being a multicultural couple has an effect on misunderstandings. It can be the language, the culture, or anything you’re communicating somehow.
It happens even with people from our own culture. So, imagine with someone from a completely different background.
What impact does our two cultures impact our relationship?
Yesi: When you are exposed to two cultures like we are now, you potentialize your knowledge.
You become stronger and you have a better understanding of the world. You have a better understanding of people and how they behave in certain ways. You become more aware, and more merciful, and learn how to act and react. It’s helped us be better people.
That’s wonderful.
It helps you keep growing each day as if you’re studying a new culture every day.
What advice do you give to couples from different cultures?
Yesi: Have some quality time to really know each other. Don’t fall in love just with their appearance. Go deeper into your relationship and make sure you have a better understanding of your partner's feelings and thoughts.
Good communication and talking about what you really love in the process of getting to know each other is key.
Be open about each other’s beliefs like politics and religion. Ask yourself if you align with them or not. Ask how you see yourself as a couple in the long term and if you can share similar goals.
You may be shocked when you fall for their appearance and realize how they behave differently than you expected.
If you’re in a long-distance relationship like ours, you don’t get exposed to a person’s hygiene. You don’t see how they behave with friends and family. You should ask for those details. This helps you fully know that person enough to commit to a relationship.
Make sure that the person respects you, this is essential.
Make sure you’re on the same page about what being faithful means to each other. Nowadays, there are some couples with open relationships. It’s very necessary to talk about those topics.
It’s good to be on the same page about marriage, children, going to church, and politics.
Make sure that you talk about every aspect of your life and what’s important to you.
It’s good to know relevant details of your partner’s life like health conditions, finances, job, and family relationships.
Of course, make sure you can laugh together and have fun.
It’s even better if your partner can make you smile.
Does that mean you like me?
Yesi: Yes, but don’t tell anybody.
Thanks again to my wife Yesi for your time and for choosing me to be your husband.
I hope all the multicultural and/or long-distance couples out there found this interview helpful!
Next week a brand new Inspiration Postcard is the way. Take care for now.
Much love,
-Daniel
🗺 More ways we can connect:
Instagram / Bluesky / Travel Coaching / LinkedIn
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Previous Traveler Spotlight posts:
• 🌍 Traveler Spotlight: Jeanine Kitchel
• 🌍 Traveler Spotlight: Ashleigh Bugg Part 1
• 🌍 Traveler Spotlight: Lieven Artels
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Aww…so, so sweet you two! Felicidades! I loved reading this and Yesi said, and it’s not just for a long-distance relationships, you need trust, good communication and love. She also mentioned many times, one of my biggest requirements - respect. It sounds like both of you know the ingredients to make a successful relationship and marriage work. It may take a little more work if you still are long-distance sometimes, but cheers to many more years together. (This coming from someone who has been married longer than you or Yesi have probably been alive, Daniel! Coming up on 33 years at the end of 2025!)
Loved reading part 2 of Yesi's interview. Literally, what a long road you guys have traveled! Long distance relationships are tough to maintain, but obviously you did a great job at it! Felicidades!!!